• Rebecca Watson wrote a new post, Most Women are RELIEVED to Get an Abortion, on the site Skepchick 3 months, 4 weeks ago

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    • Of the two sides, I would think that regret over having children is so much worse. How does one hide that regret from their child/children? That’s got to be impossible to hide. That would also be a good study to not only conduct but track – do they eventually make peace with the choice? And when? When the children become teens? When they move out on their own? Never? Is the regret simply over the work and expense of raising children or are there perceived “missed opportunities?” The nuances could be fascinating.

      • I think framing this as two-sided is a pro-lifer rhetorical trick. There’s a whole range of views. Almost all of those viewpoints don’t include telling women what to do with their bodies. Even if those views are also firmly anti-abortion. Framing this as “two sides” creates a false equivalence between the tiny, loud pro-life minority’s opinion of women and everyone else’s.

    • I agree with zylla that it would be fascinating to delve more into the people who regret having had kids. For instance, along the lines of “missed opportunities”, more specifically, not missing them, my SO and I have firmly decided against kids, which causes no small amount of feelings from our friends and families. Mostly, they’re accepting, but I do get complete bafflement or worried fretting from some people, the most annoying being, “oh, that seems like a selfish decision,” but the most common being, “well, once you get older, you’ll regret it, it’s a wonderful experience.” This from parents who regularly regale us with the latest escapades of their mischievous little imps, or kvetch here and there about time, energy, and/or money. I don’t know if any of them regret having had kids; I doubt it, they seem very happy in spite of any strife I might hear about. But I’m almost positive we won’t regret our choice in the long run, especially after we rack up a bunch of experiences we likely wouldn’t have had time or money to pull off given the responsibilities of parenting. All that aside, assaulting pregnant people who are considering abortions with guilt trips about regret is disgusting. I’m glad someone’s studying it.

      • As far as my aunt and uncle are concerned, they’re nearing the ages my grandparents lived to, and they don’t seem to regret not having children. I don’t understand the decision, as I love my kids, but I’m not going to try to make anyone feel bad about not wanting or having kids. I don’t understand other choices people make, but if they don’t hurt others I see no reason to try and police them.